Ode to the DMV

by Jenine Baines

Pardon my French. But fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Oh, it could have been worse:
I could have neglected
to make an appointment in advance
and wound up in a line
snaking outside the door,
around the building;
I could have flunked the written test
more than once.
Grâce à Dieu, my partners
in this morning’s menage à trois
were focused
on my satisfaction.
Which helped,
except the happy ending
was solely up to me –
and as I told
both gals afterward, FUCK!
I’m too damned old
for this kind of stimulation.
Get me to a nunnery.
I’m done with all intercourse
with the DMV.


Jenine Baines is an author, poet, and former Texan now living in Los Angeles who views the River Walk as Wonderland, a place that is “curiouser and curiouser.”  Actually, all places are curious wonderlands – an epiphany “j” attempts to convey in her essays and poetry. She also publishes on at and is at work on editing her first book of essays, “You Don’t Have to Tell Everybody Everything: Confessions of a Chatty Cathy and Late Bloomer.”

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